Is/Is Not

I wish that I could put my feelings on a shelf
High, out of reach, where they can’t be seen or even felt.
I wish that I didn’t love him
Didn’t pine for his sweet touch
Craving the feel of his body upon mine
His tongue cunnilingus between my thighs
His piercing blue eyes, staring deeply into mine
Wanting so to hear him say You’re ever mine, I’m ever thine.
I find that I am oh so mad
But the anger is really all me
How can I be so upset with him
When I knew about the boundaries?
I know my place in his world
I know where I stand,
He’s not really “my Man.”
He looks at me
With loving disdain
A distant admiration
I appreciate you his constant refrain
I cannot be mad, disappointed, or upset
I knew what I was getting into
Can’t cry, can’t fret
It is what it is,
And sometimes even what is not
But always will I want him
Love him, Crave him
He’ll never be forgot.

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